December 15, 2006

Tomorrow is my last day at Bosfam. I know the normal reaction is to express disbelief that the time has gone so fast, and at some level, this is accurate. But I also feel like I have been here a long time. In slightly more than 10 weeks, I have become comfortable with my life at Bosfam. Comfortable enough that I no longer feel so much like a guest – more like a member of the group. And that sense of belonging allows me to feel a much more normal range of emotions – disappointment, irritation, pride, happiness – than is possible in the somewhat artificial host-guest construct.

I’ll begin with disappointment. I am disappointed I did not learn to weave. This is my own fault, as I have many willing teachers, but I kept putting it off on the grounds that it was such a challenge with the language barrier, and now it’s too late – at least for this trip.

I’m also disappointed I couldn’t make more progress on some of the work projects I wanted to undertake. I had a vision that I could make great strides toward developing a social tourism project here at Bosfam. But part of the experience of working for a small NGO in a transitional economy is that you learn how difficult even the seemingly most straightforward of ideas can be to implement. There are barriers large and small.

In the latter category, it is not possible to work in a vacuum, and getting all the relevant parties to sit down with enough time to really work out a strategic plan is not always easy. People’s lives intervene, as do time-consuming bureaucratic issues endemic to post-conflict societies. For example, Bosfam’s director was told by the municipality she needs to get copies of the ownership papers for a building on which she wants to mount a sign directing people to Bosfam. This involves not only fees, but an annoying sequence of filling out forms and submitting them. Who owns the building? The municipality itself.

Irritation is something you’re going to feel when you undertake to work with an organization in a country where you’ve never been, in a language you don’t speak. It’s completely unrealistic to think otherwise, no matter how positive the overall experience. This last week I have faced some significant frustrations, largely stemming from the fact that I must rely on others to translate not only language, but unfamiliar cultural situations. You can see their side of things – I’m sure it’s a pain to have to translate all the time. On the other hand, being thrust into situations you would not agree to participate in if you understood their parameters and therefore had some control over them is unpleasant.

Taking pride in one’s work is a hugely important thing. At Bosfam, no carpet gets sent out for an order or placed in the gallery for sale unless it has been inspected by not only the woman who made it, but everyone else, and passes muster. The apprentices, whose slightly askew carpets are particular favorites of mine, begin by making only miniature carpets until they master the fine art of tension control. Even those early products are ironed and stretched into symmetry before entering the stream of commerce. At Bosfam, I have had the opportunity to do work I can really be proud of, and I’m extremely grateful for that.

And of course, I’m saving the best for last. I am happy that I came to Bosnia and Herzegovina in general. It is a beautiful country and the people here are something special. I am happy I came to Tuzla. Both at work and in other arenas I have met interesting, intelligent people who have made the effort to learn something about me and let me learn something about them. I am happy I came to Bosfam. Even had I accomplished nothing else, I am leaving with friends I did not have before, and insights into another culture I could not have gained without being here. Oh yes, and one more thing. I have a really nice carpet and know where you can get one too.