Dirty Knees

06 Jul

This post is a bit of a digression but I thought I’d expound on some of the more intriguing if less related observations.

I consider myself American, but no one else around the world seems to agree. I’m only part Chinese ethnically and I’m certainly not from China. That is, until I learned all about the “Chinese” from people who are not actually Chinese. Take, for example:

The Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, Japan, and Korea are all different provinces of China.

In southeast Chinese provinces like Indonesia and the Philippines, if you need money fast and can’t afford those expensive wire fees, kidnap a Chinese dude for ransom. They’re all a bunch of stingy misers anyway. Wait, these provinces ARE in China. Whatever.

In the U.S., this guy represents all 700 million Chinese men around the world to a tee.

In most Western countries, the Chinese language, while it may consist of thousands of squiggly lines, actually has only three syllables: ching, chang, and chong.

Filipinos also say the Chinese language consists of these three syllables – until I point out that, as Filipinos, you are part of China as well.

Chinese people are genetically unable to speak English fluently. This includes Chinese-Canadians and Korean-Americans.

However, Chinese people sure are good at math!

On suburban American playgrounds, the ChiNESE kids have dirty KNEES. It rhymes, get it? So true.

Beware: any Chinese person on the street can so totally karate-chop you with their mad tae kwan do skillz.

And…drum roll (this is the part that makes this post somewhat related) – in Afghanistan, all “Chinese” women are prostitutes!

Some say when you travel to faraway places, you learn more about yourself than you do about that country. Thank you America, China, the Philippines, and now Afghanistan, for teaching me to part with this American façade and accept my true self – the stingy, Engrish-speaking, kung-fu fighting math-geek hooker that I am!

I will do my people proud.

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Posted Jul 6th, 2007

5 Comments

  • Shalise Forti

    June 24, 2007

     

    I like the candid and honest nature of this blog. As America is the land of sterotypes, it is interesting to realize that generalizations like that are just as common abroad.

  • Richard Chen

    July 1, 2007

     

    Those stereotypes remind me that my lowered intellectual expectations of most in this world, American or otherwise, are indeed the correct approach. Go and fight them, my cool gal pal.

  • ali

    July 13, 2007

     

    Um right now, aside from Afghans who are returning to afghanistan – most women coming in will be looked upon negatively (negatively- slutty)

    also since (I hope) you know, afghans are quite diverse, other ppl will assume someone is afghan by following the culture….. so, a woman not in islamic dress = foreigner and….I’m sorry to say that everybody (afghans, that is) who’s been over there (and still live there) talk about the chinese prostitutes…

    Its not exactly disliking or stereotypying chinese people – its just that they are the most easily accessible females around – unfortunately, the way many afghan refugees are forced into prostitution in iran, pakistan – and viewed in the same manner in Iran/Pak as chinese women in afg….

    Anyway, I also wouldn’t be surprised if there isn’t a tinge of anti-chinese sentiment that’s been washed over from Uzbekistan – since alot of turkic ppl aren’t that fond of chinese…. (sadly ~) Every place has their “thing”

    anyway, as an afghan (only in harvard) – thanks for your work….

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